My alarm goes off at 9:00am, I hit snooze two times before I finally get up. I go through my daily routine, washing my face, brushing my teeth, but as I get dressed I recognize this is no ordinary day. Not because it is April Fool’s Day or because it Holy Thursday, but because I am getting ready to go sit with Marina Abramovic at ‘The Artist is Present’ at the MOMA. I anticipate and speculate what it will be like staring in her eyes as others watch. Could I communicate all I wish to say to her through my energy? Will she recognize my appreciation for her body of work. I decide to wear a purple dress. I was going to wear it on Easter Sunday. I felt it was appropriate to save it for a special occasion when I bought it. I contemplated wearing it numerous times over the past two months as it hung in my closet. Today was its day to get the tags torn off. I decided not to eat breakfast or have my morning coffee, but along my way to the museum my hunger overcame me and I broke down and had a breakfast bar.
I calmly walk to the subway. I get off at 5th Ave and 53rd Street. The sun is shining. I check my phone, 20 minutes until MOMA opens. I see the crowd lined up outside. I whisk by them Member card in hand. Now I must wait.
(Diedra and Kat’s Text messaging between 10:10 and 1:30)
D: Are you going today?
K: On my way.
K: At the MOMA in the lobby waiting to go up. Is she there yet?
D: not live yet.
K: They are letting us up in a minute.
The guards give us their wave and people go running up the stairs to get on line to sit with Marina. I knew before hand I could potentially wait all day. I channel my patience. I read a book and give Diedra constant updates. All I can do now is wait, 10:30, 11:30, 12:30, 1:30.
K: Waiting on line now. People are already trying to cut. I told 2 girls to go to the back of the line.
D: Firm but nice in your teacher voice?
D: Who’s the guy in the green pants? And who do you think that last dude was?
K: I got to be honest I am starting to get irritated. I have been waiting for 1 ½ hours and only 4 people have gone. This guy sitting right now is moving around
D: He’s fired!
D: Of course a dude is being disobedient! I can see him shifting. Missing the point. Hmph.
K: I’ don’t know….I’ll go in and drag him out
K: yeah. I was watching him before he went up, I knew he was an oblivious idiot, he definitely broke the gaze too.
D: Persevere through lunch? Are you in her periferal vision?
K: I should have came yesterday when it was crappy out, Its really nice out and I’m stuck inside
D: Can you ask the guard questions? Like does she leave for breaks? Is there any rules against interrupting this current ‘dance’?
K: yeah. I will I am getting pissed at this dude though, get up its over you messed up, of course you can sit there all day if you keep shifting…I’m not near the guard right now.
D: Oh boy read your book I’m getting hungry
K: 5 more people in front of me now.
K: shit I mean 6
K: I will probably be here until 3 at this fucking point and I got here so damn early this sux I have been waiting in line for 2 hours. I’m not leaving now
K: Go eat I definitely won’t be up within the next hour
D: Woohoo. I’m going close by to grab a snack brb!!
K: 3 people now I think a couple left the line!
K: ok 4 people one woman keeps walking away because her daughter is on line with her
K: the person sitting right now is doing sort of a performance within a performance. A guy she is with is standing behind Marina with a sketchbook
D: It is so freaking beautiful out! Sunshine!
D: I am performing lunch outside alone with text messaging and pealing an egg
K: I know I want people to take like 5 minutes so I go outside
K: haha thanks I’m starving
D: This egg is for you!
K: ok another person is up, 3 people in front of me now. I predict I will be in the chair around 2
D: Cool. How many people are in line behind you?
K: like 10 or more
K: ok 2 more now. Are you back at your desk?
D: In a moment. remember that observation game look at each other then turn and change something and figure out what it is?
K: doesn’t sound familiar.
D: It is a game I did in the art museum on a class field trip when I was in school. Just thought of it.
K: 1 more person I am going to concentrate now.
D: You are next stay present
I am finally the next in line. I stand practicing my breathing in and out in and out as I did in yoga class the night before. I walk serenely towards the empty chair positioned directly across the artist wear a long bright red dress. I sit in the solid wood chair. My heartbeat increases. My muscles tense. She slowly looks up to meet my gaze. I concentrate on my breath to stop the nerves from getting the best of me. My heart rate finally stabilizes and I intently look into her eyes. I stare deeper and deeper slowly shutting out the people watching and the photographs being taken. I am completely present, no thoughts. A few minutes later, my mind begins to race. I long to tell her how I feel about her work, how I admire her, how she inspires me, I try to tell her this with my eyes. Does she understand? What is she thinking about while looking at me? Does she think about my intentions for being there with her, what is she thinking? My heartbeat increases again and I clear my mind once again and just stare.
